Peas and loaf

Peace and one love.
Every man and woman
Aches for that one just
Chance at peace and love
Equal are we in our emotions
Amidst the chemistry
Never ending is the turmoil of those whom
Daren’t find that one just chance at peace and love
Lest we lose ourselves
Over a lifetime of pretending
Virtualizing our personalities  
Else we could truly find ourselves among peace and love  

RocksteadyArts

Invoking pasions and emotions
floating just below the surface
exploding ferocious purpose
in images unnerving
the perverse reverse configuration
making art is revelation
sanctified by self creation
lately I’ve been occupide with intergalatic meditation
art is soul and truth and love
without the arts the world is nought
but people walking through the greyest of fogs
without a lot of vibrant shmocks
that lock our eyes in constant shock
and awe and inspiration
parade the arts around the natives
respect they deserve
for they tell the stories of our generations
times past and things unheard
things absurd and connoisseurs
be prepared for uncompromised
life and times aimed at your eyes
Words spoken to induce thought
report your emotional export
in the form of a lyrical tribunal court
extort your personality
unfamiliarity is the key to art
it sets apart the soul and body
oddly it also combines the two
refuse its advances and the chances are
you’ll never dance beneath the stars
or mar your mind with far out views
to lose the arts would make us fools
produce yourself by using tools
that suit your mind and suit your mood 

Numb

what have I become?
I, feel the darkest despair
how can I lift this feeling?
without losing myself?
Numb, I have become
I chose to lose the art of feeling in order to repel emotional afflictions
but it quickly
sent
me
down
Now suddenly i can feel again
and abruptly I feel a heavy heaving in my chest
with all my best i cannot contest
the urge to purge my tear-ducts and then
curl onto my unwashed bedsheets 
incomplete I feel
real again
but my memory serves me up reality
I see myself in 1080 pixel clarity
How could anyone ever love me?
really
for what i am?
I am a child with facial hair
I stare aimlessly at animations
breeze through university presentations
pump systems full of bass and
drink till I’m off my face

and

yet

there is more

at the core
I am me, solitary
I am me, violently
I am me, because it is all i ask of myself
I am me, because I think it is right to be
I stay as true to myself as possible, I can’t live any other way
yet no one seems to care
or say
maybe it is because I remain a mystery to most
only a select few truly know me
and even then, they can not always detect my sadness
but I have lived in agony for years now
on my own for years now 
just wanting, waiting for that one
that one person who wants to pick you up
stand you up 
and brush you off
and tell you, you still look fantastic
I cry at movies
I cry when music moves me
I cry when gazing upon a beautiful scene 
that provokes a reaction out of me spiritually
I care too much
I worry about my friends
my girlfriend and my family
I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life
all i’ve ever wanted was to be happy
and whatever that meant, I would will it into fruition
for me it seems
I would like to live with my wife
whom I would love unconditionally
I’d still be making hip hop
creating art and speaking philosophically 
I would still enjoy the company of my friends
see their kids grow up with my kids
and we’d teach them how to be human

together
I hope one day, i can see my dreams
become reality
yet something tells me, its not going to be that way
do i deserve these things?
I’m not sure
I think I may have too many band points to ignore
I’m trying to change, maybe its called growing up
I still love the idea of achieving what no one thought I could
but, only the future will tell me
I don’t want to be particularly wealthy
I just want to feel edified, enlightened 
accepted, loved, respected
instead of forever being this black sheep
cast to the side
lost dignity and pride
just, lost
lost inside my own thoughts

a daydreamer

working out what to do with the universe
so he puts it into spitting verse
over the years he’s been practising
in order for him to really say what he has to
over the years, he nearly went crazy
mind bent by hazy nights and benders
trying to forget
what it is to feel
because feeling
would have meant dying

every 

single

day

Breadsticks

I’m feeling a lack of commitment 
If its not meant to be then its okay
I just want to feel like you want to say
amazing things to me
imagine futures with me
but
I am grasping at straws
You say you love me but it is rare I feel the raw emotion behind your voice
for me its not just choice
that i remain
I want
and I need
to feel you
I want
and I need 
you to feel me in the same way 
sometimes I get the sense you would move on to something better
I would be happy for you
if it came to that
I would like to take MDMA with you again and dance the night away
three years from now in margate
do not confiscate your love from me
unless it is because I make you unhappy
then you should run
because it is what I would do